Instinct

People said, never doubt your instinct. And apparently it is just true. Something happened to me today.

I was on my way to settle my MMC registration. Deep down I don't know, why am I in a such rush? Am I going to enter housemanship asap? Not really. But maybe it just because I am starting my work as a teacher next week. That's why I want to settle this as soon as I can.

But my heart doesn't feel right. And I am not sure why. But I can feel that what I gonna receive is a rejection. That's why I delayed my trip to KL. But I fought my heart and thought it is syaitan and went to KL. Once I reach MMC and sent my form, it just correct. My form got rejected; one is because what my instinct said and another one is really unexpected. And I just moved out from there, not sure whether it is a relieve, or frustration, or sadness or what. I just relieved because I know why my heart feels so heavy. But feels sad at the same time coz I was thinking that all of my and (my family's -coz they helped a lot) efforts are just wasted.

Along the journey, I met a lot of people; good people. So I said to myself. Hey look, actually only one thing that Allah tested today, but actually there are a loadddds of good thing had happened. From suddenly someone wish to send me to bus station, the bus ticket is available and the bus move on time and reach on time, the grab driver who were just so nice, the MMC guards who are very welcoming and helpful, the MMC people who are also kind, to the family who taught you how to buy LRT token ticket, to the lady who paid your bus ticket, to the ukht that you visited, all are the good people that Allah has sent to cherish your day. It just your one form that got rejected, but Allah sent so many people who wish to accept and help you.

Subhanallah. How can I not be grateful? Maybe Allah let this happened to show me that hey, look around you. Don't just indulge into your form and certificate. Your life is more that just that. T.T Really wish that I am not this introvert. And hope I will enjoy giving myself to the ummah.

"Dan jika Allah mengenakan (menimpakan) engkau dengan bahaya bencana, maka tidak ada sesiapa pun yang dapat menghapuskannya melainkan Dia sendiri; dan jika Ia mengenakan (melimpahkan) engkau dengan kebaikan, maka Ia adalah Maha Kuasa atas tiap-tiap sesuatu."(6:17)

Tawazun